“The longing to know ourselves and to know our fellow man has been expressed in the Delphic motto ‘Know thyself.’ It is the mainspring of all psychology. but inasmuch as the desire is to know all of man, his innermost secret, the desire can never be fulfilled in knowledge of the ordinary kind, in knowledge only by thought. Even if we knew a thousand times more of ourselves, we would never reach the bottom. We would still remain an enigma to ourselves, as our fellow man would remain an enigma to us. The only way of full knowledge lies in the act of love: this act transcends thought, it transcends words. It is the daring plunge into the experience of union…Only if I know a human being objectively, can I know him in the ultimate essence, in the act of love.”

— The Art of Loving, Erich Fromm

We went out to try this cafe we heard had Matcha waffles and Korean style coffee and beverages. I liked the vibe but Celyn and I both agreed it was too cold in there. It was a day of rest and reading to prepare for the start of Spring Term.

She was waiting for her car being serviced so we went back to take a nap and watch Singles Inferno Season 2. This show showcases young impressive Korean singles seeking love in an inordinate amount of time (one week) and in extreme environments—between a remote island as base camp with an opportunity to win a date in “paradise” (luxury hotel stay with opulent aesthetics and decadent food and amenities). In these scenarios, I find it fascinating to think about how targeted people can be based on their ideals and initial attraction alone.

It made me think of the quote above as an observational lens toward the stand point of popular media’s rendition of romantic love which meets the demand of consumer culture’s cravings. At the core of this appetite is something fundamentally true about humanity—we desire to love and be loved.

I appreciate Erich Fromm’s delineation of including the objectivity of the human person’s essence as an interconnected prerequisite. He states, “If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to the rest of his fellow men, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism” (Fromm, p. 43). He goes on to describe that many people constitute love by the object, and “not by the faculty”. To say that love is an orientation of sorts expands it to include all forms, yet prevents it from only being reduced to certain distinctions.

A strange event occurred in my life this new year on the Feast of the Epiphany, January 6th. Considering this particular day last year was the Infiltration of the U.S. Capital, I wondered if this day represented the paradox of holy tension, much like the Magi having to navigate the thick darkness guided by their passionate pursuit for a Heavenly signal of an astronomical phenomenon—a star’s rising.

I was finishing my morning walk in the city and decided to try this new coffee shop just blocks from my condo. Upon my return, I see this woman on the other side of the street completely topless. She was panicking and straining to cover herself as she seemed to be yelling, “what am I supposed to do?”

Knowing that the city harbors many homeless and or incapacitated persons, I wondered if this lady was on drugs. After assessing the situation, she seemed too coherent and aware to be under the influence. I made the decision to go over and ask if she was okay and needed help. Our eyes met and I can see the mix of fear and relief as I extended the concern. She tells me she just needs an extra shirt in a trembling voice. Evidently, I am without anything extra and have already made the conclusion that I would have to remove the hoodie I had on. I proceed to do so and place it over her to also protect her from being seen by oncoming traffic. I give her my favorite beanie as well and ask if she needs me to call anyone or take her anywhere. She reassures me that she has a place to go, and that someone had told her that they would harm her son if she didn’t comply sexually. I didn’t get much more of her story since I myself was in an adrenaline state. We depart each other with her gratitude.

I make the walk home of 2 blocks in my sports bra and weighted vest probably looking like a fitness enthusiast who casually appreciates open air cold exposure therapy. No one looks up or even acknowledges my appearance as I enter the building. I am most definitely in a state of shock at what happened as I call to make a report.

I still think of this woman, praying and hoping she is okay. I made a lot of spiritual pondering since then about how God is speaking to me through this occurrence. All the thoughts of if I hadn’t gone for coffee or took another route, what would have happened? And what of the safety of this woman? I myself have not dignified women (or myself for that matter) in the purest light in my sinfulness, yet this moment challenged me to uphold the objective dignity of all women, of all persons, to defend and protect them from use and abuse.

I thought of the corporeal work of mercy: clothe the naked, was made literal that day. The nakedness of a stranger had become my nakedness in sacrifice—the sharing of vulnerability without the necessity of knowledge. The act of love didn’t require my knowing this woman, but in all mystery, I knew her because she was me and also every person that I would love. She held within her the divine image of my God who is love itself.

I share this to also encourage mercy for yourselves as you make your acts of love that may require you to face with fear the unknown parts of yourself. I don’t think we ever truly know what we will do until the Lord permits us to engage it in our reality.

To love and be loved.